"I can change him."
"He's just never had a good woman."
"She's not loose, just unaccustomed to what a real man is like."

All of these are excuses we make up. All of these are lies we tell ourselves. Lies that we think will appease our hearts which already know the truth. YOU NEED TO LET GO. 

We feel like if we tell ourselves these things long enough, we'll believe it and be okay. But we won't. We're only tearing further and further into a wound that will never, ever heal. 

Why waste time trying to CHANGE someone when the person that needs absolutely no changing is out there waiting for you? Someone who is willing to accept you, inclusive of flaws and add joy to your life? Note I said ADD and not BRING. That's where we make our mistakes. Waiting for someone to BRING something to the table. If you aren't happy with yourself, how do you expect someone else who knows almost nothing about you to make you happy? 

Stop making excuses for each other. Stop making it easier for the other person to trample over your heart and continue to confuse with their roller coaster of emotions. Stop making yourself look like an easy lay or an easy pay. Yeah. Either you're laying on your back or laying out some money on the table. Stop allowing yourself to be used and sucked dry of everything: mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. What kind of condition do you expect to be in when "The One" finds you?

Why take that burden on to someone else? Why make someone else suffer for someone else's mistake? Don't allow yourself to become bitter. If this person can't see your worth; move on. Stop wasting time. Don't make yourself hard to love, make yourself hard to live without. 

Know your worth and never forget it. 

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Hey guys!

Sooooo last night I had a mini sermon on Twitter. (Follow me www.twitter.com/MacarraF)

I saw a few tweets and I just started. Women sort of idolizing men ... men that do so very little to and for them. And when I say "for them" I do not mean in terms of monetary investments. I'm talking spiritual, emotional and mental investments. Tangible "things" are secondary. 

I'll give you a few ways we go wrong and wind up screwing ourselves out of what could potentially be a decent relationship.

Giving Your Boyfriend "Husband Privileges" 
Contrary to our belief, doing this will NOT make him marry you. You're doing too much .. too soon. Three months in and you're cooking every day, ironing his clothes, taking him lunch, letting him use your car. You're over reaching. And you're trying too hard. Trying too hard to prove your worth and make him see that you're a "good woman". I won't lie, I'm guilty of this but we're only setting ourselves up for failure. We look like a donkey and what do people do to donkeys? Okay. Nobody just GETS this type of treatment, they must EARN it. 

We Wanna Be TOO Independent
Before you "independents" chew my head off, hear me out. The whole "gold digger" term was created to manipulate women. Back in the day, a woman would never be seen reaching into her purse to pay for a dinner when a man is courting her. It just didn't happen. Then came the era of the "Independent Woman". The woman who could do everything for herself. She didn't need a man for anything other than sex. Now with the independent woman phase in full effect, the woman who is accustomed to being courted is a gold digger. Now no woman wants to be that so she becomes independent. Offering to pay for most dinners. Sending him flowers. Picking HIM up. That's where we went wrong. The gender role switch. The man is now pampered and the woman is the breadwinner.You try to prove that you're a woman who isn't in it for the money. In the process, forgetting what should really be happening. Men were MADE to pursue. The Good Book says so, "A MAN that FINDETH a wife..." NOT "A woman that PROVETH herself to be a wife." Now while there is NOTHING wrong with paying for some dinners when you are DATING EXCLUSIVELY, take it easy and let HIM be the MAN. 

We RUN OUT!
Child PLEASE, I have met MANY women that have gone ABOVE AND BEYOND only to lose their man to the woman who did far less. Not necessarily because she didn't like the man as much but simply because she knew her worth. She KNEW she was a good woman and didn't bother to waste time and energy trying to prove that. She was confident enough in herself to know that if this man was worth anything, he would just KNOW. And she wins. For every damn time. She's a little mysterious and incredibly interesting. She makes him WANT to know more. We should ALL take a page out of her book. 

We Make Excuses For Him
We've heard this OVER and OVER. But when will we GET it?! IF A MAN WANTS YOU - NOTHING WILL KEEP HIM AWAY. N-O-T-H-I-N-G! Please believe that. A man does NOT give up on something he wants ... (just look at Lebron, still fighting for that ring LMAO #petty). But seriously, you can play as hard to get as you want, if a man wants you he knows JUST what to do. And if he doesn't he's gonna ask a female friend, an aunt, a cousin, his mother what he should do to get you. Don't believe that? Then you need to up the amp on your confidence level. BELIEVE you are worth ALL the work. BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Just some random thoughts I had last night. Hope this made sense to at least ONE person. 

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