Men never seem to see how much they can hurt a woman. So intensely. So deeply. They don’t seem to appreciate the most unselfish, undying, self-denying love that is placed right before them. Total disregard for that woman’s heart, they walk amidst her as if her presence isn’t even wanted, much less needed. How? How can a man look at a woman that’s openly expressed her love for him, in the eye and cut her heart, her soul with words sharper than knives?
I usually write funny blogs but today I’m feeling a lot more serious. I saw a tweet yesterday: “GUYS: most of you have no idea how much pain you put a girl through. If she gave you her "point of view", you couldn't handle the pain.” And this struck home with me. I read it a few times and of course I re-tweeted but my God, I wish I could HUG the guy that put this up. Oh btw, you MUST follow him on twitter: iRespectFemales.
A woman’s love is so precious; sort of like a love that is more than love. Much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense [Mark Overby]. Self-sacrificing, giving of herself to ensure that the ones she love are taken care of and protected. And the only thing she asks in return is that she feel like a heroine – YOUR heroine. She just wants to be appreciated for the love she so easily bestows. There are some men that get it; some men that understands how much it means to be loved by a woman of valor, worth, and of virtue. Some of them have probably seen firsthand what a woman goes through - giving of herself to a man that couldn’t appreciate it. Watching behind a door ajar as his mother, sister, best friend weeped at the hands of a broken heart. They vow to never hurt another woman and they don’t.
But then there are some other men. Some men that just don’t care. Cold and heartless. How do you slap a woman, put your arm around her neck and drag her to the ground? Punch and kick her until all she can see is black. Until her screams become weaker and weaker. Until she no longer responds. How do you tell a woman that she’s worthless? And nothing? A waste of your time. How do you look at her bruises and feel proud? Proud. Thinking to yourself, “Yes. I am a man. And I am in control.” Control? Is that what this relationship is about? Is that what you feel like you should get out of this?
And the most twisted part about this whole mess? The woman still loves. It doesn’t remember fault. It remembers the beginning. Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit [Peter Ustinor]. This is what love is like to a woman. Wanting to fix every mistake. Thinking she is the woman that can make him into a better man. She is his superhero, ready to save him from himself. Forgetting that she herself needs a superhero. She needs to be catered to and taken care of. Pampered and treated like absolute royalty. Not trash. But see, that’s what a woman does. We love. Not BECAUSE of, but IN SPITE of.
Not every woman has suffered physical abuse, it could have been mental or verbal. But either way, IT IS ABUSE. And it is insufferable, yet we endure. We take it all in. we’ve been taught since the beginning of time, if you take care of a man, he’ll never stray. And so we do. We make sure you eat on time. We stroke your ego. Give of ourselves whenever asked. All the while thinking, “This man MUST know that I love him”. But sadly enough, we neglect to ask ourselves, “Do I KNOW this man loves me?”
Men please, I can’t begin to explain how much it PAINS me to write this. Because it’s so real. How do you tell a woman you LOVE her and turn around and do something like that? Lie to her. Cheat on her. Put your hands on her. If you don’t love her, why the hell are you still there? There are LOTS of women out there who just want a romp in the sack. But for a woman that desires love. REAL love. How ‘bout you leave her alone. And let a man that can truly appreciate her, find her.
xoxo,
La Chienne La Plus Douce
Okay, so I’m all about love. I love love. The butterflies and incessant blushing cuz this man just always knows what to say! Ugh. He’s so flippin’ perfect it’s scary. And you know the feeling will eventually wear off, so you take it for what it is and enjoy the ride. *sigh* I really do love love.
But then there are some people that make me HATE LOVE! How can two people be THAT MUCH in love?! Now stop your foolishness. The sex CANNOT be that good til you drooling after y’all been together for like 2 years. SERIOUSLY?! Every new toy becomes OLD. I’m not saying you can’t love them but you seriously can’t be that head over heels – STILL?! OMG. Get a life man. Or a hobby. Something.
Then it filters over to Facebook. Listen, why I gata see y’all every flippin’ time I come on FACEBOOK?! WHY?! Why y’all ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL through my News Feed?! WHY?! It’s not cute hunni, it’s annoying. But then it becomes funny when it’s only one person giving all this Facebook-lovin’. Hahahahahaha! Yes I laugh at you. And I know I’m not the only person to notice this either! And the fact that sometimes you don’t even get a response. LMAO! [But that’s another Blog].
But seriously, y’all don’t have cars eh? Or cell phones? Or house phones? Or Facebook CHAT? Or Messenger? Or Skype? See where I’m goin’ with this? There are a MILLION different ways to reach your love without broadcasting it on Facebook. I’ve been guilty a time or two of an overly gushy status but my Christ, at least I wasn’t all over his wall like a lame-o! Sheesh. And even if I DID get the urge to write on his wall, I’d send him an inbox message. See? NORMAL! That’s what NORMAL people do.
And stop stalkin’ his fliipin’ page. Like seriously, do you get like Facebook notifications or alerts sent to your cellphone via text message when he does ANYTHING?! He comments on a status, YOU’RE ON IT! He updates his, YOUR’E ON IT. Uploads a pic, FIRST ONE TO LIKE IT! Change the tiles in his café on Café World, you right there lookin’ at it. Smt. You need to relax ya HIP man! You really make me wanna vomit!!! But you say I’m jealous. Yeah. Unh huh. Okay. Yeah, I’m SUPER jealous! I REALLY wish I had a boyfriend I relentlessly pursue while he half-heartedly acknowledges me. Mmm-hmm. Yep. You’re right. It MUST be jealousy! *rolls eyes*
And I laugh at the people that say this crap is CUTE! Lololol …. Now to Y’ALL Imma need y’all to stop LYIN! Y’all right there laughin’ at this poor boy as he pours his heart to this girl, who is CLEARLY not on his run. But the fact that his “people” gat money and his skin color almost guarantees some “pretty” kids, she pretends for him. And only for HIM, cuz the rest of us know what’s really goin’ on. While he pursues his Master’s Degree in Spain, homegirl all up in Charlie’s wit’ ya boy from da Kemps. While he rackin’ his brain in the books, thinking of how he’s gonna make a great life for his future “wifey”, home girl rackin’ too. Unh huh. Rackin’.
Now to those of you that are really in love. I ain’t mad at ya. Dealt with the love thing a time or two. Not about to do it again anytime soon but yeah man, I’m happy for you guys. But for CHRIST’S sake and for the sake of my SANITY, could you PLEASE stop broadcasting your love life and relationship info to us on Facebook. Now if y’all about to break up and y’all gonna put up a bunch of scandalous pictures and status updates, PLEASE TAG ME! I was waitin’ for it! LMFAO!
Xoxo,
La Chienne La Plus Douce
It’s Only Life Don’t Kill Yourself Over It, It Ends When It Wants To Anyway.
I’ve spent some time in deep discussions with various friends both in my “Circle of Trust” and those not so fortunate to be counted as a member of the CoT. The topics we discuss are vast and they cover many subjects in relation to women because as we all know … you can never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, (well yal get the point) ever, ever, ever know too much when it comes to the species from Venus.
This one topic though seemed to hit home for a lot of guys and that is (drum roll please) Would you openly date a “bad gal” and make her your girlfriend or even MARRY a “bad gal?”
Now before everyone breaks out into a panic we have to look at this in detail. And fellas don’t just give me the expected immature reply of “Ya can’t turn a hoe into a housewife” because I will tell you, I personally know of some women with … ehhhhhh … questionable reputations who are happily married TODAY! Now, does the HUSBAND know he married a bad gal or not?
And that dear friends, is the money question, because sometimes we meet people who may not have been in our social network. They may have come from totally different backgrounds and social circles; and that can be due to any number of things, but fact remains we don’t have any background information on that person.
But back to the topic at hand …
What makes a girl out to be considered “bad”? We’re all adults here so let’s not beat around the bush; the answer in most cases is that the girl has either slept around or she is juice dudes for money and/or material things. I’ll be honest, I don’t live in a fairy tale world so NO I don’t expect all girls to be virgins when I meet them and personally I don’t like virgins but that’s another topic. For a woman, based on your age I expect you to have a certain number under your belt. So let’s define a median, for a girl aged say 23 – 25, a fair range in my book is 5 to 8 i.e. she slept with 5 to 8 different fellas.
Now some of you may think that’s a lot and others may think that’s too little (if so yal need prayers). But to me that’s fair, as a woman if you fit within this age bracket and you are within or under that number, hats off to you! (And holla at ya boy). Others who may be over that number at that age, like those of you at about 15+, I’m not tryna to insult anyone but you may wanna start to slow down (or just plain STOP) cuz you might be givin it up too easy and you’re name might be out on the streets (on second thought, since yal givin it up so easy … yal needs to be callin me too!).
At the end of the day fellas, it’s up to you to determine what makes a gal bad or not. Then once you have gotten over that hurdle, you have to decide if it is even that important to you or not. You may not care about some of the ungodly things she did or whatever else happened in her past life. That’s the difference, it maybe just that, THE PAST … she may have been rehabilitated and now she learned how to truly love, respect and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. She might be the realest girlfriend you meet, she might end up being the most loyal, supportive and dependable wife you would ever have and she could end up being the best mother you’re children could ever dream!
I don’t subscribe to that adage “once a bad gal, always a bad gal” … I might have an issue with making public appearances (I’m kidding) but I do believe people change … and that’s what’s important … ladies and gentlemen that’s what’s REAL..
Signing off,
Joe G. Rinds
Good morning dolls! Hope you’ve all had a good night. Just to let everyone know, I can no longer post my link on Facebook, apparently someone was upset with my last post and opted to report my site as “Abusive”. Yeah, okay! Moving RIGHT along. Today, I wanna talk about relationships. More specifically, abusive relationships.
I was halfway listening to Empress’ show on 100 Jamz yesterday and they were talking about relationships [as usual] and I wasn’t really paying attention until this lady called and said something that made the hairs on my arms stand up. This isn’t verbatim but this is the gist of what she said:
“Me and my boyfriend fell in love after 7 months when I broke his car up. One day he disrespected me and cursed me out in the front of his friends as he drove off from me and that’s when I did it. I’m a woman that doesn’t like being disrespected so I had to let him know that. And ever since we been stronger than ever.”
So Empress, probably just as shocked as I was said, “So because you broke his car up, you fell in love with each other? And because he cursed you out, he loves and respects you?”
And this woman replied, “Yes Empress. This man showed me that he ain’t afraid to let me know how he feels. That means that he loves me because he is being real with me.”
ARE YOU SERIOUS?! So because your boyfriend cursed you out in front of both your friends he loves you? And because he did this PUBLICLY means that he’s real? And not afraid to show his feelings? And then after only SEVEN MONTHS?! This nigga should still be lotionin’ you and sending you flowers. NOT cussing at you, and worse so, PUBLICLY! I guess that means its okay to hit you too then? Cuz then he’s just venting, right?
I was wondering if her story was for real or if she was just calling to entertain us. But either way, I’ve heard many women say, “If he doesn’t hit me, he doesn’t love me.” One woman even ventured out to say, “The Bible says if you spoil the rod, you spoil the child.” WHAT THE HELL?!
So you’re a CHILD now? And you DON’T want to be spoiled? What kind of woman ARE YOU?! Any of my exes could EASILY tell you, I’m an attention hog. I like my man to pay attention to me, hang on to every word I say [cuz I’m SO interesting] and treat me like a princess. Now we’ve all slipped up and hung in there with some assholes hoping they’d change but we caught ourselves. And got up. And moved on. You are a QUEEN. I don’t care WHAT kind of education you have, what color your skin is, the texture of your hair, where you live, where you work. It doesn’t matter!! You were put here to be loved, nurtured, supported and protected. You were NOT put hereto be beaten up on, talked down to and completely disregarded.
And to the men that think its okay to hit on a woman, how bout you go to Expedia and book a first class flight to HELL. How would you like someone to slap, kick and punch your grandma, mother, daughter, sister or niece?! How’d you like that?! And if you say you feel nothing then that’s just what you are – NOTHING!
I swear I wanted to cry when I listened to that woman yesterday, because she is SO lost! How? How is that love? She probably doesn’t even know what it feels like to have someone be so in love with you it pains them to be away from you. Would walk through fire and ice to take care of you. *sigh* I really don’t know what else to say. This is the ONLY topic that hurts me to my core. Women forgetting what they’re worth. So afraid of being alone, they’d rather endure heartache and pain just to say they have a man. To all my sisters out there reading this, if you’re in an abusive relationship, please … RUN! It’s NOT worth it. He is NOT a man. He is a punk. Hitting on a woman to make himself feel like a man. Talking down to you, belittling you because it makes him feel better about himself. Sissy.
Don’t listen to Ja Rule bout “Love is Pain.” MY BLACK ASS. The only pain I should feel is … Yeah, we ain goin there today. But seriously, it feels SO much better to be alone and loving yourself than to be with a man that can’t appreciate you.
Xoxo,
La Chienne la Plus Douce
It’s only Life, Don’t Kill Yourself Over It. It Expires When It Wants To Anyway.
So I’ve been getting a lot of hits lately and yes I am excited. Who doesn’t like to be heard? But I’m going through my emails and inbox messages on Facebook this morning, enjoying my blueberry bagel and French Vanilla coffee and I see a message from someone that isn’t even on my Friends list. I could have SWORN I had that disabled. Smt. But I open it anyway and begin to read. And this girl had the AUDACITY to tell me (and I quote) “I think you’re a gorgeous Black Woman. But I see that you’re single. I also know that you were recently in a relationship and it didn’t last long. Not as long as you anticipated I bet. But just in case, I have a few ways to get him back or to keep the next man that enters your life. Please don’t be insulted by what I have to say, just take it as advice. I’ve been around for a little longer than you have and believe me when I say that there is NO reason for you to be single. You have a lot going for yourself.”
HOLD. THE. HELL. ON! Oh HELL no … she did NOT just go THERE!
So, I’m single. Something HAS to be wrong with me.
Maybe you just need more self-confidence.
Maybe if you were a little more accommodating.
Maybe if you went the right places.
How ‘bout you kiss my black ass? There is NOTHING wrong with me being single! What the hell?! Are you retarded? Do I need a man to validate my worth? I’m so sorry that you feel that way because I DON’T need one to do that. If I wanna VALIDATE myself, I’ll look at my paycheck and the fact that I can pay my college tuition, rent, light, water, cable, phone, internet, grocery and car bills without laying on my back for it … What the hell?
But YOU on the other hand, you pretentious PRICK. You‘re what …. 33? And your MAN is 23? Ooooookay! You REALLY found a MAN huh?! Unemployed and still at home with his mom. WHOA! You must have fought off HUNDREDS of chicks for this “man” huh? Smt. He is a NOBODY and a LITTLE boy. I don’t care how big his whatever is and how well he uses his tongue, he is a child with a childlike mentality. When you guys go out, people look and GAWK … And stop calling them HATERS, cuz they aren’t jealous. They really just wanna vomit.
Seriously, think about it, when you were graduating HIGH SCHOOL, this kid was in the middle of his ELEMENTARY education. K … Yeahhhh, that’s REAL sexy!
And then YOU. Wit ya bad self. Been round the block more than your share of times. Bouncin’ around like a flippin’ slinky. From hand to friggin hand. Foolin’ round with other people man and sometimes their woman. But YOU wanna give ME advice on how to get and worse yet, KEEP A MAN?! Smt.
But I think I get it! You’re dating this boy, whoops, I’m sorry, MAN, because your own circle got tired of looking at your old, tired, broke down behind. So you infiltrate the new social circle and try to scoop up some unknowing idiot who can accept you (and your kids) cuz he can’t really do a lot better himself. Or you feel like you’ve probably finally gotten something right since after YEARS of failed relations and relationships you’ve found someone that understands you and gets you and appreciates you. So you MUST share your tips right?
If your intention was to be a cougar, my God you could have at LEAST locked down an ELIGIBLE bachelor. Think Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Not Macy Gray and Soulja Boy. A hot flippin mess.
But yeah, you and your philosophical statuses and Notes. And I’m not gonna lie, I think they’re very interesting and intriguing ... I’ll even venture out to say intelligent. The only problem I have is the AUTHOR! I can’t say enough how STUPID you look … Giving out your tidbits of information to the masses who are only looking at you and laughing. At you and your tired “man”.
So the next time you decide to send me an email on this big blessed Tuesday morning, please choose another day to do it!
Xoxo,
La Chienne La Plus Douce
It’s only Life, Don’t Kill Yourself Over It. It Expires When It Wants To Anyway.
Exes. Everybody has ‘em … And to the ones that don’t. That got married to their first love and are living happily ever after, how bout you go play in traffic. LoL, nahhh I’m just messing with ya. Congratulations.
But to my other friends. You were so madly in love with her. Her lips, eyes, smile. They made you weak when you saw her. He was your knight in shining armor. His voice, his arms that held you, his ummmmm …. Yeah his tingum. ;-) … Ugh. Made you damn near faint when you smelled his cologne. And then one day: BAM! They just up and leave ya. Without a friggin sign. Hint. NOTHING!
You figured you did everything right but uhhhh, I guess not. So, give you a few months and you’re good. You start seein’ somebody new. And then BAM! Enter the EX. WTH?! Why man?! WHY?! Why did you send me flowers? I don’t care if it’s my birthday. And furthermore, how the hell did you find out where I worked?! We ain’t spoken in a hot minute and you found me?! WTH man!
Smt.
So we call and ask why. Why the interest? Then there’s the infamous “I Miss You”. WHY?! WHY do you miss me now? Smt. Please stop with your mess. You figured there was better out there and you went looking for it and didn’t find it. But NOW that you’ve test-driven your hoes and tricks and discovered they ain’t workin’ out you wanna come talkin shit bout “I miss you”. PLEASE! Stop RIGHT there. You ain miss me a lick.
Then ya gat the BRAVE ones who HAVE a girlfriend/boyfriend and are possibly engaged or MARRIED and say “I made a mistake”. LMFAO! Oh LORT! This is funny! So I’m supposed to make things work with you AFTER you’re promised to make a vow or already made one? Man look, this is TOO funny. What? Do you want a roll in the sack for old times sake? Haahahahahahahaha. Yeah, that’s my response.
But wait. You gat some other STRANGE exes! The ones YOU left for whatever reason that seem to not understand what it means to be BROKEN up. You may NOT call my mom to “talk”, you may NOT “hang out” with my friends, ESPECIALLY when they’re OBVIOUSLY trying to avoid you. PLEASE stop just “being in the neighborhood” and stopping by to say hey. You live in INAGUA and you were just PASSIN thru BIMINI?! Whoa! Talk about WEIRD! Cuz even after I’ve changed my number, you seem to have found it. I think I’m gonna have to report you to the cops for harassment!
Honey, when I break up with you. I’ve broken up with you. Which means that most, if not ALL, ties we had are to be BROKEN as well. Sheesh. I don’t HATE you but I certainly don’t like you enough to want you around me all the time. If I see you in passing, that’s different. I’ll hail ya up. And DO NOT give my new man attitude! He hasn’t done anything to you but keep what you couldn’t!
That is all. Xoxo,
La Chienne la Plus Douce
It’s only Life, Don’t Kill Yourself Over It. It Expires When It Wants To Anyway.
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