I'm laaaaaaate! I apologize. But this is segment 2 of my blog series. 

Topic of discussion? GET YOUR OWN LIFE! 

I am so sick of seeing women literally losing themselves in relationships. Seriously. Do you all of a sudden forget your friends, family members, interests and hobbies after you and your man have been together for more than a year? Why? Because you both have so much in common, right? Lies. 

While most relationships are formed out of similar interests, the more intriguing part is being with someone ELSE. Not yourself. Who wants to date a male/female version of themselves? Pretty boring if you ask me. Too predictable, mundane, repetitious. Always knowing what your partner is thinking must be SUPER fun. Yeah. Super duper. 

I've conducted a scientific study (which means I asked 10 men on Twitter) and men prefer a woman that did her own thing. And I PROMISE you I'm not lying. I asked the question: "Would you prefer a woman that wanted to spend all of her time with you or be with a woman that did her own thing from time to time?" 

Le Responses:
"definitely, one who does her own thing from time to time, but not so much where she thinks she so Independent that she doesn't need a man" - @TheKelsiem

"Did her own thing from time to time, niggas need their space dread" - @SB_Dread

"Did her own thing from time to time. Repetition of anything can become boring. I dont care how much people like to say "do what you love.." doing what you love can also get tedious. Thats why they have weekends, sabbaticals , vacations…so in that same regard…i think some time apart is necessary..and also it helps bring back something fresh to the relationships….cant share new experiences and stories if you're never really apart right?" - @Meck0

"I have a frat, Super Team, and a clothing line I'm planning. Imma need my gf to know she gotta have her own live and link me in between." - @2CUTTAZ

"... as long as u at least keep me in the loophole like "Hey me n so n so hanging out i ga talk to you later" i'm good" - @TheTanMamba

"Did her own thing time to time...I'm a person who is independent so I like my own space and that thing seems clingy u know that" - @GritzBrownz

"Does her own thing ... She just cant get ridiculous with it.." - @JayComplex

"Option B. If I'm dating someone, I wanna spend a load of time with em, but I want my space too" - @IllestKevAlive

This is what men think! And I don't care HOW  you try to defend it, if you spend 90% of your free time with your man (and are unmarried .. but then again, even if you are), you, my dear, need a LIFE. I think women believe that keeping a man "hot" will ensure that he has less time for other women. But HONEY CHILD, can I TELL you how a man (or woman for that matter) will FIND time to cheat? Smothering won't make him want you more. It'll actually make him want you less. 

Ever had a new plant and was so excited you over-watered it? What happened to it after a few days? It died, no? See those little holes at the bottom of the plant pot? Yeahhhh ... that's what your man needs. Breathing room. Space. Filter time. And if his filter time consists of hanging out with his friends, playing COD, some fantasy basketball mess or lounging off scratching his balls ... LET HIM DO IT! Geepers. Go call up your friends (if you have any left), make a spa appointment, get your nails done, hair done ... something! But you MUST have something you wanna do without him.  

I thought this was common knowledge but apparently, it ain't. :( So I'm just here to shed some light on not so obvious reasons we stay losin'! I know it's pretty touché but absence really does makes the heart grow fonder ... and his ... well .. you know ... stuff ... want your stuff more! LOL :) 

Next Week's Topic: Independent Woman: A Blessing And A Curse 
Aight. It's been like over a month since I posted something and it wasn't because I didn't have any new material, it was more of a "What do I post that's most relevant/pressing?"

I wanna talk about women losing in love. And I seemingly have to keep reiterating "I AM NO RELATIONSHIP EXPERT". If I were, I'd be happily married, with my 2 kids, Yorkshire terrier poodle shitzu, in my 2 story home in some fancy residential area. But alas, I am a 24 year old single woman with no kids. And NO, I am not a lesbian. But while I am no relationship expert, I do analyze. A lot. And thanks to my ever interesting TL  (for the Twitter savvy crew) I get LOTS of material. This is gonna be a 5 part series to be posted weekly. And today, I wanna talk about the MAIN reason we keep losing: Insecurity. 

Yes, yes. It's that ugly word again. Everyone has 'em. But everyone handles theirs differently. Women, however, seem to bare them on their damn foreheads. Yes, you wish you could get a nose job and yes you wish you had bigger boobs but NO this will not make every man fall head over heels in love with you. You wanna know what men fall in love with? A strong personality. A challenge. A woman. 

Don't believe me? Watch the flex. I dated 3 guys back to back. At first, I was stern, bitchy (for lack of a better term) and aloof. And what do you think happened? The guys pursued me even harder. When I finally let my guard down and let them insecurities come out to play .. whooo chall! I was straight LOSING. And do you know what each of them said? I kid you not: "I didn't think you'd care if I left or not. I expected you to say 'You wanna leave? Well you lose.'" And I mean they sounded DISAPPOINTED. Well comin' home! You mean after all that chasing you still want me to be a bitch?! I obviously missed the memo. But I got it. Men will ALWAYS love a challenge. 

Think about it. Which toy do you appreciate more? The one you didn't ask for or the one you saved up a year's worth of lunch money for? Yeah, I thought so. Man when you get that toy you are so PROUD! Drop? Break? What's that? That thing may not even come out of the box! And that my friends, is how men view a woman. Well, his at least. A prized possession. But after it's lost it allure, what's the point? Time for a new toy, no?

Now nobody is saying you have to be a mean and callous prude all the time but be  CONFIDENT. If another woman comes into the room YOU DO NOT SEE HER. Who is she? Halle WHO? Nahh, son. YOU are in that room and as far as you're concerned, HE is lucky to be with you. Trust me, this turns men ALL the way on. 

Exes? YOU HAVE THEM EH?! Chall boo I couldn't care less about the woman before me. You could have dated Beyonce, as far as I'm concerned I upgraded ya. When you give off this attitude and MEAN it, watch the man fall in love. Slowly but surely. 

Another thing y'all gata stop doing is DICTATING. Another form of insecurity. Don't TELL the man which women he can and cannot talk to. Are you threatened? For WHAT? Over HER? What does she have that you want? You already have a great relationship and a great man ... chill. Besides, if ONE woman doesn't want your man, you lose. :( He looks at another woman? So what? If he leaves you, who's losing? Really. 

These are just my humble opinions but I'm sure you can see where we've been going wrong. You are really your own worst enemy. Confidence is the order of the day! 

Next Week: Part 2 - Get Your OWN Life!