I swear I write things talking to myself, hoping to reach someone in the process. I hate giving these out, but here’s a disclaimer: This is not directed at any one particular person. So please, in the name of my blog: Don’t. Catch. Feelings.

Such a gentleman. He’s smart and funny; very easy on the eyes. You can talk for hours on end about everything and nothing at all. You share the same goals, the same morals and beliefs. And to put the icing on top of this perfect cake; the sex is mindblowing. There’s just ONE problem. He. Is. Not. Yours.

How the hell does this happen?! How does someone so perfect for you belong to someone else? How does someone else get to open your Christmas gift and play with it before you?! What kind of sick, twisted, demented person does something like that? His girlfriend, maybe? Or perhaps, his … wife? Yeah, boo. He is not yours. And as hard as it may be, you’re gonna have to let him go.

We allow our hearts to trick us into staying in situations like this.We know that we should leave. We know he belongs to someone else. We know we won’t win. We know for a damn fact that karma is real and has no mercy. Yet, we stay.

Could it be the emotional connection? The physical? Spiritual? Whatever it is, we need to look past that and see the bigger picture. At the end of the day, you’re investing a hell of a lot of time into somebody that is not yours. It’s almost like investing all of your life’s savings into someone else’s bank account. What sense does that make? Depleting yourself and replenishing someone else?

It’s easy to be on the outside and judge:
“Why doesn’t she just leave him alone?”
“Why is she such a homewrecker?”
“She should be ashamed; she knows better”

But, who are YOU to judge? It’s easy to stand on the outside and judge, but being in the situation gives you a whole new perspective.

While we may not be able to control who we’re attracted to, we CAN control how we go about dealing with these feelings. Some just take longer to gain control of these feelings than others which CAN be disastrous. Imagine being “committed” to a man that has a girlfriend, fiancee or wife for about 2 years. Can you imagine the emotional bond they may both have together? And while some men are incredibly scummy and may be filling your head with lies about his significant other, the choice is YOURS to stay or to leave.

I know it feels right. The sparks fly. The sex is great. How could this POSSIBLY be wrong? How could you POSSIBLY be punished for being with your soulmate? How? Easily. He, no matter how perfect, is not yours. And while you may feed yourself stories like:

“Maybe I give him what his woman can’t.”
“We just have bad timing. We’re SUPPOSED to be together.”
“His woman cheats on him; he deserves better.”

When it’s all said and done …. she is his woman and you are not.  

But there really is no need to cry over spilled milk. Get the mop and clean it up. Let it dry. Start over. You CAN find someone as perfect as your unattainable man. Someone that is ALWAYS available to you. Not just between the hours of midnight and 6am, excluding his birthday and holidays. You can have this perfect man all to yourself without going to bed feeling guilty or miserable. You can have your OWN!

And think about the other woman. Probably so in love with her man. Totally oblivious to what he’s doing behind her back. As a WOMAN, how do you feel? You probably already know what it’s like to have your heart broken, would you really be okay with putting another woman through that? And do you really want to be nothing but a jump off? A thrill? A fleeting memory? You’re worth much more than that. You really are.

So let him GO. As hard as it may be. If you truly feel it’s meant to be … I PROMISE it WILL be. But try not to hold your breath in the meantime. Those kinds of stories are reserved for the fairytales. For now, work on harboring good, clean karma, being a better you and allowing the man of your dreams to sweep you off your feet. You deserve it.  

Question of the day, the week, the month, the frigging YEAR: Can social networks REALLY ruin a relationship? Can I say HELL NO? No? Ah well. I will and you will deal. :P

Let me just say that there are only two things that can ruin a relationship - YOU or your SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Nothing else. You can waste time attempting to debate with me and say that social networking sites and annoying exes are the cause but let me save you some time. It's all bullshit. NONE of these can solely ruin a relationship. 

If I have a boyfriend and he has a Facebook or Twitter page what am I supposed to do? Tell him to delete it? Should I delete mine? Is that healthy? Nah, bruh. I love Twitter and I'll be damned if I give it up for a relationship. It makes no sense to me. 

What I CAN do is make sure that I am always mindful of the things I post and tweet ensuring that I don't say or do anything to disrespect you or our relationship. I don't care HOW friendly you are, all the "Honey", "Baby", "Sweety" shit when talking to other women will NOT fly with me. But that's just me. I can get real jealous and act all the way out. But that brings me to another point. You have to KNOW your s/o. Are they the flirty type? Are they just naturally friendly? See, you don't wanna change anybody because the traits you wanna change are probably what drew you to them in the first place. So before you look at him/her through rose colored glasses, think "Can I be in a committed RELATIONSHIP with someone that is so flirty?'. Be honest with yourself. If the answer is no, then don't push the issue. If the other person feels as if it's something they can EASILY change because they really wanna be with you, let THEM make that decision. PRIOR.

There are evil women and men out there, though. The ones who ONLY wanna "friend" you up because you're no longer single. These kinds of people upset me. When I was single, you NEVER tweeted me. But the MINUTE I have a boyfriend, you have SO much to say and with so much emphasis?! 
"Hey BOO!" 
"Hey HONEY, I haven't seen you in so long." 
"Hey BABES, when we ga link up man?" 
REALLY? Why? Why now? You are nothing but a friggin' snake in the grass. Tryna stir up problems. But I see you BOO. And I need you to get the hell up outa my peripheral! 

And I need the ones in relationships to keep their eyes open! Don't be fooled. Watch out for those people. Ask questions BEFORE you start accusing and getting upset. TRUST your s/o. If your gut keeps telling you that something ain't right. Something probably isn't. But please ... PLEASE. Ask questions first. 

Another thing though, y'all slick DM'ers. Yeah. Y'all. Sneaky bishes. STAY OUTA COMMITTED PEOPLE DM's with your SHADINESS. If it ain't about business or a party or something like that ... DO NOT send a DM bout "Hey gorgeous, just wanted to say hi." What the fuck for? You couldn't say that on the TL? Why you gata make it look so sneaky? See, I runnin' hot na! DM = PRIVATE. Why you sending' homeboy's girl a PRIVATE message? You know her like that eh? Stop putting people in these compromising situations and leave her and her relationship alone! And sweetgirl/boy, if you get a message like that, #cheapus you tell your man/woman what’s going on and save yourself the explanations later. Cuz the longer you keep it from them, the guiltier you look. 

I wanna share a secret with men, though. I don't care how ugly you think you are, the minute you are no longer available, you are bait to a LOT of women. Some women ONLY like unavailable men. I guess it makes them feel powerful (think I Gat Your Man). Is it pathetic, yes. But do you see it happening? 9 times out of 10, you don't. Women are SLICK! They will pretend to be SUPER nice and act REAL innocent knowing EXACTLY what they’re really after. Meanwhile, your girl catches on and when she asks you, what do you say? "Oh no baby, don't be so insecure. She's just being friendly." No boy. NO. That homewrecker is planting her "friendship seeds" to uproot your happy home. If  you didn't know her prior and if she is trying too hard to be TOO friendly, she probably wants the peen. Run. (If you want your relationship, that is).

One quick thing to the ex: You are the EX. Know your damn role. Don’t be tweeting him ‘bout, “Hey boo, how you doin’. I MISS YOU” What the HELL?! I WISHHHH a muthaeffer would. I would POLITELY tweet back: “K”. And you know EXACTLY what that means. And this whole “Ex turned bestie” No. Just no.  

And to the CHEATERS on this here Twitter. Just because your significant other isn’t on Twitter does NOT mean that they won’t see or hear about the your ratchet-ness. Eyes are EVERYWHERE. Remember that. And I don’t care HOW much you delete DM’s, some people have theirs linked to their Gmail. Those sweet nothings you typed last night? Yeah. They may not be in YOUR DM column, but they’re surely in her email account. Forever. So think twice eh!

Last thing. Don't provoke your man/woman. DON'T DO IT. I don't care HOW mad you are at each other, doing things out of spite will NOT make the situation better. Just because we had an argument last night does NOT mean that you should go tweet up ALL the girls I was always suspicious of. To do what?! INFURIATE me? M’kay. Keep doing it and watch what I’ll do. Be MATURE and talk our problems out. SANS Twitter rants. (I still need help on this one cuz I just mash my ENTIRE corn).

But yeah at the end of the day, NOBODY other than the two people involved can ruin a relationship. NOBODY. A relationship is WORK. And a lot of it. That’s why we have sex. To alleviate some of that stress! :P

But what do I know? I’m just an old single hag. :(

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There is nothing as perfect as a loving, healthy, happy relationship. I love to see happy couples ... I really do. Gives me hope that one day some man is gonna be brave enough to spend the rest of his life with me. 

I believe in giving your all in love, because otherwise, what's the point? If all else fails, at least you can say you had done your best. I guess I'm a helpless romantic. #AndThatsOkay

With that said, I'm going to say there is a thin line between being in love and idolizing your significant other. It's fine to SING, "I don't know when I'm gon' die, but I hope that I'm gon' die by you" ... but in real life? No, boo. At the end of the day, people WILL fail you, they WILL disappoint you, they WILL lie to you. Even your perfect boyfriend. The sooner you accept that, the easier the let down will be. 

I'm not here to rain on anybody's parade; if you trust your girlfriend completely, then good. I just hope she's earned it. And it's okay to "know" your boyfriend won't ever step out on your relationship because he's faithful, once he's proven that. 

I saw a tweet the other day, "I love my boyfriend so much, he is my everything. My all. My being." Yeah eh? I was kinda hoping it was the beginning of a poem, but it wasn't. She ACTUALLY feels this way and she is intent on marrying him. That's cute, right? Nope. Not even. Know why? Cuz her beloved is stepping out ALL OVER TOWN. Yeah. He's not being faithful. And poor thing. She doesn't even know. But so many other people do. 

Now you're probably thinking, "Well why doesn't someone tell her?" Well, she's one of those chicks that thinks EVERYONE is out to sabotage her relationship. Yeah. She has "haters". K. And he's been known to tell his side chicks, "Don't worry about her. She'n goin' nowhere. She'll never believe I'm cheating.." OOP!

Well, while she makes a complete fool of herself, I'll sit under some palm fronds on the beach and enjoy a martini. Cuz the view of the epic show that's gonna go down after she find out that he's cheating on her is gonna be real nice from here. 

And what's even worse is she's the ONLY one giving out all this PDA (Public Display of Attention). I mean, really?! Chall, not Macarra. I have too much pride. Let me MISS and put up a mushy status and you don't (properly) comment or follow suit. Never. Again. I'm embarrassed when I send you a mushy text/BBM/WhatsApp and you don't respond the same way. So imagine how I'd feel after doing it in public. Honey child, I love myself too much to do that. 

And that's what I need EVERYONE to do. After God, love YOURSELF first and foremost. Do NOT put your ALL into one person. It can't ever end well. The Bible even says so, "The arms of flesh will fail you ... " and the Bible doesn't lie. So, yeah. You can love him, but you MUST chill. I don't wanna see you on the airport road counting poles like the chick in that story from Perspectives from Inner Windows. (LMAO Y'all remember that book?!) 

Yeah, that's it. Happy Friday doe!

 
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