The topic of marriage came up on Twitter today thanks to Mr. Cloud10LV (check his blog here: Now, a lot of people had their opinions and most of them I agreed with.

I'll share my views. I agree that marriage is sacred, holy, ordained by God and all the stuff we're taught in church. But is marriage for EVERYBODY? I certainly don't think so. While marriage is taught as being the holiest union, some people are just not cut out for it. Marriage is WORK. Honorable work, but work nonetheless. You have to be willing to give and take, compromise, be submissive, choose your battles, know when to shut up and when to run hot. See I'm not married so I can only assume that  marriage is like an exclusive relationship on steroids. And in my honest opinion, NOTHING prepares you for it. You can go to all the marriage counselling in the world and still be slapped with hurdle after hurdle. 

Are you REALLY prepared to wake up to her greasy, morning face sans the pretty makeup and weave? And are you REALLY going to just LOVE the way he stretches and farts when he wakes up .. right in FRONT of the fan? He's a neat freak, she cleans when she feels like it. He likes red meat, she'd like him to cut it out of his diet. These things may sound trivial but please believe me when I say I HAVE WITNESSED these seemingly trivial things drive both parties to the nearest divorce court. 

Divorce rates are higher than they've been in years. And I think I know the number one reason why. Society. Yes, I am blaming YOU. You know how many people I've seen walk up the aisle, not because they felt ready, but because they'd spent the "required" amount of time together? "YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR FIVE YEARS?! You GATA marry her!" Seriously, who are you to tell me who to marry and when? Just because two people have been together for a few years, does NOT mean that they are ready to make that lifetime commitment. They may have been together all through high school and college but do you know how much growing up, maturing and straight up CHANGING happens? Your tastes and morals may have changed so much that you begin to wonder why you even started dating this person to begin with. And I don't think there is a thing wrong with that. 

Another thing I wanna say and I'm kinda on the fence about this myself: Shacking up. We've been brought up to believe that "shacking up" (a couple living together without being married) is a sin and is simply immoral. While I kinda agree (basing that solely on my Baptist upbringing), I also disagree (my more liberal side). In all honesty, a big part of me wants to live with someone BEFORE we make the step to get married cuz I wanna see if I can actually do it. But I've been taught the whole, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" thing. In other words: "If you're already living and sleeping together why waste time getting married? It's the same thing." Yeah, I'm gonna leave that alone cuz I'm one big walking contradiction on that one. 

But yeah, marriage is NOT for everybody. Some people are simply meant to be alone. And I STRONGLY believe that. And I think they're okay with that, too. And some people are fine with "shacking up". They don't need marriage to validate their relationship. But here's what some of my followers (and people I follow) had to say:

- I mean I was 20 with this one chick for almost 3 years and niggas were expecting marriage. NO I was not in the place mentally or maturely
- Like its ok NOT to have this ulterior motive going into EVERY relationship that you will be getting married, now the older you get..
- Niggas and chicks just be wanting some companionship for the interim and sometimes you just KNOW it won't be a marriage deal.

- Some people don't get married at all and are content sharing their lives together.
- Marriage isn't the holy grail.

KheliAshlee:- Just because you're together for some time does not mean you should get married when people think you should.
- And I don't see the big deal with "shacking" up either. I have to live with you before we make that step.

Vanillash:- Personally, I only form relationships with someone who I can see myself with long-term.
- I guess for property and financial purposes, it would be easier to get a lot done with a marriage certificate and shared assets.

Gaily58:Bey I sure adam and eve een had a beach wedding with the reception at marios @GrierMunro but they mutually decided I fa u and u fa me!
So I saw this tweet today: "No matter how much of a win you think your girl is, there's always someone better". Man I can't even tell you how far this made my head twist. 

I consider myself to be a realist. I say things as I see 'em, even if I have to make myself uncomfortable. But lemme break this down for my confused and misled fellow Twitterian: There will ALWAYS be a prettier woman, a sexier woman, a smarter woman and a more intellectual woman than the one you have but would you consider that "winning" if you don't LOVE her? And do any of these attributes necessarily means she's BETTER than your girl? See cuz she could be prettier but not as thoughtful as your woman. She could be more intellectual but not as compassionate as your woman. She may have a nicer body but her priorities may be screwed the HELL up. 

I consider a "win" finding the woman or man that makes you smile for no reason, uplifts you when you're at your lowest and  finds beauty in your self-proclaimed flaws. When you begin to base your "winnings" on superficialities is when you begin to lose. And when you begin to spend time analyzing another woman long enough to validate her worth, you're losing the battle. Staying faithful is already a real challenge for some people so to spend valuable time that could be attributed to creating a more peaceful and beautiful union, lusting over someone else is pretty silly. 

And ANOTHER thing. You wanna talk about finding a "better" woman and how someone's always better you know the SAME can be said about men? What's so great about you until you think you can pass such judgement and make such statements? How old are you? Do you still live at home? How many investments have you made? How many mortgage payments have you made? Hmm? Just sit back and think about these things for me please. 

But seriously, how green do you need your grass to be? You want the perfect woman? Well know that perfect ain't real ... and real ain't perfect. That will be all.