Nowadays, if a woman tells you that she has a kid and is unwed, she is ALL of a sudden independent and strong. See how times have changed? The same goes for casual sex. Its portrayed everywhere you go as the “in” thing. Just have sex. No feelings. No strings. Just sex. Its not a big deal anymore.
Which brings me to today’s blog topic. “Ask that man out.” From the beginning of friggin’ time women have been told, “You must be seen and not heard.” What the hell? Now ANYBODY that knows me KNOWS that I never ever everrrr took to this rule. So I should be like a fly on the wall while all the men talk? WTF? No thank you ma’am. I will say what I have to say whether you like it or not. Whether my response was solicited or not. So in saying that, y’all just but KNOW a WOMAN asking a MAN out is just about as rare as a unicorn on Bay Street. But what’s so hard? [And this is the kettle calling the pot black cuz Lord you KNOW I don’t know how to do it either. So this is some help for all of us today.]
REJECTION. I really hate that word. It’s just so stupid. And ugly. Ugh. REJECTION. Let’s take a minute and just stare at it … *side eye* … Nobody likes rejection. It hurts and it’s a MAJOR ego-killer. Which is why men have so damn much of it! Rejection sucks but they gat that super reserve to fill their ego tank right back up. Now women on the other hand, we’re super sensitive about rejection. It’s like validation. And you can try to be all 21st century as you like, you KNOW that it SUCKS when the guy you wanna go out with, ain’t really on ya run. So I’ve come up with some cool and creative ways to minimize [you both] feeling awkward.
1. Have The Right Atmosphere
Now you KNOW you CANNOT ask that boy out when he’s at a bar in front of all his friends. He’ll more than likely say yes out of pity and no one wants that. Or, he’ll say no and you’ll be the butt of their jokes for a hot minute. And I think that would suck more. And ask him out in PERSON please ... NOT Facebook. ESPECIALLY when you just added him that morning. That’s CREEPY!
2. Make The First Move
Sad to say [and I know this from experience] a lot of NORMAL guys are shy and are too scared to walk up to the girl they’re interested in. And y’all know we have some idiots runnin’ around Nassau who will just walk up to you [and 37 other women] and be like “Baby lemme take you out.” THOSE are the ones you run away from. But the ones you think may actually show you a good time, are a little put off by your astounding beauty and are afraid to walk up to you. So you do it. Even if you know him already, walk up to him [and be really cool about it], and start some small talk. Flirt a little. And if he flirts back. Aww FLIP! You IN! And don’t RUN OUT either. Like don’t be hangin’ all on the boy arm. A casual touch on his chest as you sweetly giggle at one of his [stale] jokes should do the trick. ;-)
3. Make Eye Contact
Look at him. And not the ground. You come off as a lot more confident which equates to being more attractive. And if he returns the 2 second eye gaze, he’s probably interested.
4. Compliment Him
Women LOVE compliments. Some of us go FISHING for these compliments. We’ll say, “Ugh, I HATE this dress” just to hear a guy tell us, “No baby, you look good.” … And don’t lie! Now, if you think men are any different, my dear you are sadly mistaken. Men = Ego. Ego = Stroking [aka lotionin]. Stroking = Compliments. See the equation? Yeah. Now don’t be silly about it either. DO NOT say “Oh my God. You have a pretty color nah.” … Say “Wow, what is that cologne. That smells so good.” … Oh and be sure to place some sexy emphasis on “sooo sexy.”
5. Ask Him Questions
Ask small non-intrusive questions to find out what he likes, what he does, what he does for fun .. .Bla bla bla. DO NOT ask the boy, “So where you live? You live by yaseff?” That is OVERLY intrusive. Thanks.
6. Ask Him Out
After you’ve done this, you should both be comfortable at this point. And since you’ve had some decent small talk and you’ve figured out if you’d both be interested in the same thing, ask him out. You can always say something like, “I really enjoyed talking to you, we should do this again.” Kinda leave the question open and watch his reaction. If he steps in closer, this means he’s interested. But if he steps back, he may be a little thrown off. If his reaction is positive, great! Mention some Art Show or movie you wanted to see and exchange numbers. If he doesn’t respond positively, don’t go into hiding. He may just want to get to know you better. And if he stuck around all this time, he may actually be interested. And don’t walk off bein’ all pissed off if he says he doesn’t wanna go out with you. Politely smile [and cuss him in your head], shake his hand and walk off. I bet he’ll be thinkin’ about you for the rest of the night. Shoot, he may even come to his senses and ask you out. Ya never know.
But at the end of the day, you must remember ONE thing. Be YOURSELF! If you read this and were thinking about a certain someone, great. You have target practice. And if it REALLY works out, I may even dance to your wedding.
La Chienne La Plus Douce