But to my other friends. You were so madly in love with her. Her lips, eyes, smile. They made you weak when you saw her. He was your knight in shining armor. His voice, his arms that held you, his ummmmm …. Yeah his tingum. ;-) … Ugh. Made you damn near faint when you smelled his cologne. And then one day: BAM! They just up and leave ya. Without a friggin sign. Hint. NOTHING!
You figured you did everything right but uhhhh, I guess not. So, give you a few months and you’re good. You start seein’ somebody new. And then BAM! Enter the EX. WTH?! Why man?! WHY?! Why did you send me flowers? I don’t care if it’s my birthday. And furthermore, how the hell did you find out where I worked?! We ain’t spoken in a hot minute and you found me?! WTH man!
So we call and ask why. Why the interest? Then there’s the infamous “I Miss You”. WHY?! WHY do you miss me now? Smt. Please stop with your mess. You figured there was better out there and you went looking for it and didn’t find it. But NOW that you’ve test-driven your hoes and tricks and discovered they ain’t workin’ out you wanna come talkin shit bout “I miss you”. PLEASE! Stop RIGHT there. You ain miss me a lick.
Then ya gat the BRAVE ones who HAVE a girlfriend/boyfriend and are possibly engaged or MARRIED and say “I made a mistake”. LMFAO! Oh LORT! This is funny! So I’m supposed to make things work with you AFTER you’re promised to make a vow or already made one? Man look, this is TOO funny. What? Do you want a roll in the sack for old times sake? Haahahahahahahaha. Yeah, that’s my response.
But wait. You gat some other STRANGE exes! The ones YOU left for whatever reason that seem to not understand what it means to be BROKEN up. You may NOT call my mom to “talk”, you may NOT “hang out” with my friends, ESPECIALLY when they’re OBVIOUSLY trying to avoid you. PLEASE stop just “being in the neighborhood” and stopping by to say hey. You live in INAGUA and you were just PASSIN thru BIMINI?! Whoa! Talk about WEIRD! Cuz even after I’ve changed my number, you seem to have found it. I think I’m gonna have to report you to the cops for harassment!
Honey, when I break up with you. I’ve broken up with you. Which means that most, if not ALL, ties we had are to be BROKEN as well. Sheesh. I don’t HATE you but I certainly don’t like you enough to want you around me all the time. If I see you in passing, that’s different. I’ll hail ya up. And DO NOT give my new man attitude! He hasn’t done anything to you but keep what you couldn’t!
That is all. Xoxo,
La Chienne la Plus Douce
It’s only Life, Don’t Kill Yourself Over It. It Expires When It Wants To Anyway.