I was halfway listening to Empress’ show on 100 Jamz yesterday and they were talking about relationships [as usual] and I wasn’t really paying attention until this lady called and said something that made the hairs on my arms stand up. This isn’t verbatim but this is the gist of what she said:
“Me and my boyfriend fell in love after 7 months when I broke his car up. One day he disrespected me and cursed me out in the front of his friends as he drove off from me and that’s when I did it. I’m a woman that doesn’t like being disrespected so I had to let him know that. And ever since we been stronger than ever.”
So Empress, probably just as shocked as I was said, “So because you broke his car up, you fell in love with each other? And because he cursed you out, he loves and respects you?”
And this woman replied, “Yes Empress. This man showed me that he ain’t afraid to let me know how he feels. That means that he loves me because he is being real with me.”
ARE YOU SERIOUS?! So because your boyfriend cursed you out in front of both your friends he loves you? And because he did this PUBLICLY means that he’s real? And not afraid to show his feelings? And then after only SEVEN MONTHS?! This nigga should still be lotionin’ you and sending you flowers. NOT cussing at you, and worse so, PUBLICLY! I guess that means its okay to hit you too then? Cuz then he’s just venting, right?
I was wondering if her story was for real or if she was just calling to entertain us. But either way, I’ve heard many women say, “If he doesn’t hit me, he doesn’t love me.” One woman even ventured out to say, “The Bible says if you spoil the rod, you spoil the child.” WHAT THE HELL?!
So you’re a CHILD now? And you DON’T want to be spoiled? What kind of woman ARE YOU?! Any of my exes could EASILY tell you, I’m an attention hog. I like my man to pay attention to me, hang on to every word I say [cuz I’m SO interesting] and treat me like a princess. Now we’ve all slipped up and hung in there with some assholes hoping they’d change but we caught ourselves. And got up. And moved on. You are a QUEEN. I don’t care WHAT kind of education you have, what color your skin is, the texture of your hair, where you live, where you work. It doesn’t matter!! You were put here to be loved, nurtured, supported and protected. You were NOT put hereto be beaten up on, talked down to and completely disregarded.
And to the men that think its okay to hit on a woman, how bout you go to Expedia and book a first class flight to HELL. How would you like someone to slap, kick and punch your grandma, mother, daughter, sister or niece?! How’d you like that?! And if you say you feel nothing then that’s just what you are – NOTHING!
I swear I wanted to cry when I listened to that woman yesterday, because she is SO lost! How? How is that love? She probably doesn’t even know what it feels like to have someone be so in love with you it pains them to be away from you. Would walk through fire and ice to take care of you. *sigh* I really don’t know what else to say. This is the ONLY topic that hurts me to my core. Women forgetting what they’re worth. So afraid of being alone, they’d rather endure heartache and pain just to say they have a man. To all my sisters out there reading this, if you’re in an abusive relationship, please … RUN! It’s NOT worth it. He is NOT a man. He is a punk. Hitting on a woman to make himself feel like a man. Talking down to you, belittling you because it makes him feel better about himself. Sissy.
Don’t listen to Ja Rule bout “Love is Pain.” MY BLACK ASS. The only pain I should feel is … Yeah, we ain goin there today. But seriously, it feels SO much better to be alone and loving yourself than to be with a man that can’t appreciate you.