LMAO! I’m already laughinnnnnn! OMG. Okay, so this is like the AGE OLD question: “Does Size Really Matter?”
I personally think that it does AND it doesn’t. It kinda depends on the guy … Andddd the woman. I SO hate to hear women say this, “Girl don’t mess with him, his dick is SOOO small. I didn’t feel ANYTHING.” … Then you go and fucks with it and come to find out, it ain’t all that small! Like it ain’t no porno dick but you could definitely make it work; especially if you try some new positions instead of the old boring missionary. That chick may just be (genetically) wide-set. Which brings me to my next point. Some women are just genetically tighter than others. It doesn’t matter if “Girl A” had a child and has sex with 3 different men a week, if her shit is tight, IT’S TIGHT. Then the “Girl B” may have slept with only 2 men in her life and STILL not have the grip Girl A has. *kanye shrug* It is what it is!
Now back to my topic: Size! Haaaa! Now men, y'all know I LOVE y'all but Imma need y'all to stop LYING! You HAVE to know if your shit's small or not. Don't give me NO other stories!! ALL y'all watch porn and I KNOW y'all be looking down like, "Hmmmm, mine isn't THAT big. SHIT!!! Is my dick small? YES IT IS! FACKKK!" But you wanna come to me bout "Macarra I will rock your world. Leave it lookin' like a Category Five Hurricane just passed through." Gettin' me ALLLLL excited like MUDDOES!! I CAN'T WAIT. Then when Judgment Day comes around, all I'm left with is a TROPICAL DEPRESSION!! 'Bout Category Five. GTFOH!!
If you know you have a small dick, that's okay. We need guys like y'all who ain't gon' stretch us out before we get married. (Sounds stink hey? But it's TRUE!) Who wants to have sex with a bunch of big-dick men and get married to the man of your dreams with an average dick? You ain't gon' feel NOTHIN! LMAO ... Okay, okay, I stop. But yeah, dude, if you know your shit's small why LIE?! You DO realize that at SOME point we're gonna find out right? When we bring sex up, you should leave it as a big mystery; make us want you even more. That way if the sex is average, we can't get mad cuz you never promised anything. Smart right? I know ... I have my moments of brilliance. :P
Now advice to men of ALL sizes: FOREPLAY IS THE ORDER OF THE DAY!! I'm not gonna lie, it's very rare that a woman will orgasm or cum via missionary penetration. With that said ... GET ON YOUR KNEES! YEAHHHHHH! :) Kiss her neck, suck (or nibble on) her breasts, use your tongue to make circles around her belly button, kiss her thighs ... and then BOOM! POW! Deal with the wibe. yes, most women like to receive oral. So go for GOLD buddy. Use your MOUTH, not just your tongue. Lemme stop before y'all can't concentrate to work. But seriously, don't just depend on your dick, I don't care WHAT size it is. Now just because you have a big dick doesn't mean you can just slam it and run either cuz y'all are the ones that require us doing the most work. We gata get on top simply because we don't want you to pull a Kanye (bruisin' our esophagus!) So y'all STILL need to FULLY MASTER the art of foreplay. THANKS!
I personally think that it does AND it doesn’t. It kinda depends on the guy … Andddd the woman. I SO hate to hear women say this, “Girl don’t mess with him, his dick is SOOO small. I didn’t feel ANYTHING.” … Then you go and fucks with it and come to find out, it ain’t all that small! Like it ain’t no porno dick but you could definitely make it work; especially if you try some new positions instead of the old boring missionary. That chick may just be (genetically) wide-set. Which brings me to my next point. Some women are just genetically tighter than others. It doesn’t matter if “Girl A” had a child and has sex with 3 different men a week, if her shit is tight, IT’S TIGHT. Then the “Girl B” may have slept with only 2 men in her life and STILL not have the grip Girl A has. *kanye shrug* It is what it is!
Now back to my topic: Size! Haaaa! Now men, y'all know I LOVE y'all but Imma need y'all to stop LYING! You HAVE to know if your shit's small or not. Don't give me NO other stories!! ALL y'all watch porn and I KNOW y'all be looking down like, "Hmmmm, mine isn't THAT big. SHIT!!! Is my dick small? YES IT IS! FACKKK!" But you wanna come to me bout "Macarra I will rock your world. Leave it lookin' like a Category Five Hurricane just passed through." Gettin' me ALLLLL excited like MUDDOES!! I CAN'T WAIT. Then when Judgment Day comes around, all I'm left with is a TROPICAL DEPRESSION!! 'Bout Category Five. GTFOH!!
If you know you have a small dick, that's okay. We need guys like y'all who ain't gon' stretch us out before we get married. (Sounds stink hey? But it's TRUE!) Who wants to have sex with a bunch of big-dick men and get married to the man of your dreams with an average dick? You ain't gon' feel NOTHIN! LMAO ... Okay, okay, I stop. But yeah, dude, if you know your shit's small why LIE?! You DO realize that at SOME point we're gonna find out right? When we bring sex up, you should leave it as a big mystery; make us want you even more. That way if the sex is average, we can't get mad cuz you never promised anything. Smart right? I know ... I have my moments of brilliance. :P
Now advice to men of ALL sizes: FOREPLAY IS THE ORDER OF THE DAY!! I'm not gonna lie, it's very rare that a woman will orgasm or cum via missionary penetration. With that said ... GET ON YOUR KNEES! YEAHHHHHH! :) Kiss her neck, suck (or nibble on) her breasts, use your tongue to make circles around her belly button, kiss her thighs ... and then BOOM! POW! Deal with the wibe. yes, most women like to receive oral. So go for GOLD buddy. Use your MOUTH, not just your tongue. Lemme stop before y'all can't concentrate to work. But seriously, don't just depend on your dick, I don't care WHAT size it is. Now just because you have a big dick doesn't mean you can just slam it and run either cuz y'all are the ones that require us doing the most work. We gata get on top simply because we don't want you to pull a Kanye (bruisin' our esophagus!) So y'all STILL need to FULLY MASTER the art of foreplay. THANKS!
Oh and to SQUASH another MYTH!! That whole "big hands, big feet" thing?! PURE BS!
Happy Thanksgiving ... And remember guys ... Women like a man that can FULLY enjoy an ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET. LMAO!
xoxo
La Chienne La Plus Douce
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