Men never seem to see how much they can hurt a woman. So intensely. So deeply. They don’t seem to appreciate the most unselfish, undying, self-denying love that is placed right before them. Total disregard for that woman’s heart, they walk amidst her as if her presence isn’t even wanted, much less needed. How? How can a man look at a woman that’s openly expressed her love for him, in the eye and cut her heart, her soul with words sharper than knives?
I usually write funny blogs but today I’m feeling a lot more serious. I saw a tweet yesterday: “GUYS: most of you have no idea how much pain you put a girl through. If she gave you her "point of view", you couldn't handle the pain.” And this struck home with me. I read it a few times and of course I re-tweeted but my God, I wish I could HUG the guy that put this up. Oh btw, you MUST follow him on twitter: iRespectFemales.
A woman’s love is so precious; sort of like a love that is more than love. Much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense [Mark Overby]. Self-sacrificing, giving of herself to ensure that the ones she love are taken care of and protected. And the only thing she asks in return is that she feel like a heroine – YOUR heroine. She just wants to be appreciated for the love she so easily bestows. There are some men that get it; some men that understands how much it means to be loved by a woman of valor, worth, and of virtue. Some of them have probably seen firsthand what a woman goes through - giving of herself to a man that couldn’t appreciate it. Watching behind a door ajar as his mother, sister, best friend weeped at the hands of a broken heart. They vow to never hurt another woman and they don’t.
But then there are some other men. Some men that just don’t care. Cold and heartless. How do you slap a woman, put your arm around her neck and drag her to the ground? Punch and kick her until all she can see is black. Until her screams become weaker and weaker. Until she no longer responds. How do you tell a woman that she’s worthless? And nothing? A waste of your time. How do you look at her bruises and feel proud? Proud. Thinking to yourself, “Yes. I am a man. And I am in control.” Control? Is  that what this relationship is about? Is that what you feel like you should get out of this?
And the most twisted part about this whole mess? The woman still loves. It doesn’t remember fault. It remembers the beginning. Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit [Peter Ustinor]. This is what love is like to a woman. Wanting to fix every mistake. Thinking she is the woman that can make him into a better man. She is his superhero, ready to save him from himself. Forgetting that she herself needs a superhero. She needs to be catered to and taken care of. Pampered and treated like absolute royalty. Not trash. But see, that’s what a woman does. We love. Not BECAUSE of, but IN SPITE of.
Not every woman has suffered physical abuse, it could have been mental or verbal. But either way, IT IS ABUSE. And it is insufferable, yet we endure. We take it all in. we’ve been taught since the beginning of time, if you take care of a man, he’ll never stray. And so we do. We make sure you eat on time. We stroke your ego. Give of ourselves whenever asked. All the while thinking, “This man MUST know that I love him”. But sadly enough, we neglect to ask ourselves, “Do I KNOW this man loves me?”
Men please, I can’t begin to explain how much it PAINS me to write this. Because it’s so real. How do you tell a woman you LOVE her and turn around and do something like that? Lie to her. Cheat on her. Put your hands on her. If you don’t love her, why the hell are you still there? There are LOTS of women out there who just want a romp in the sack. But for a woman that desires love. REAL love. How ‘bout you leave her alone. And let a man that can truly appreciate her, find her.
La Chienne La Plus Douce

9/30/2010 01:04:09 am

this sounds real nice, and i do agree that men should not be abusing women at or children... and they should cherish them... but here it is now should boil down to equality, shouldnt a woman be all these same things a man should be, shold she not be expected to love a man thesame way, i mean every one endures abuse whether is physical, mental, emotional, and this s including men, men might not own up to it and thats why they might take it out on the weaker person in this case a woman/child... but women also take th same frustration out on men. again i am not justifying any one being abused whether its a woman, man, or a child... the reason anyone is getting abused is because they aare not speaking up about it, then they re staying in the situation. you cant be that much in love to stay there and take someones shit.. i dont feel sorry for that person... u mean to tell me that treatment is better than going to a family member or a friend or the police and saying hey this is happening I NEED HELP... just like there are these bad men, there are bad women, and i dont need to state what makes a woman bad cause it would probably be from the same cycle because how she was treated, that's not anyones problem especially mine, and especially if no one expresses this to the other person, allow someone to makethe choice of being with you after kowing how u hve been hurt. if a woma i was dating cant get over a situation she ws in befoe then i would remove myself from that situation...this is a great piece nothing like a womans love,but to be honest there is nothing like love... we dont love anyone, but our selves our parents and our siblings and some ppl donteven love them, but if u do and you cant love the person you are with the same way, you do your family, then thats not love simple as that. thee is only one type of love, and we have been taught to love in different ways, thats all bullshit and its why there are so many problems in relationships. Real Love.. Anyone that desires real love should look into that. Appreciate yourself, there are lots more women ot there that arent getting abused, that are i love, and happy with their spouse, THEY SPOKE.. Everyone has a story and no ones really listening. All this men supposed to and women supposed to is crap, just what you expect of me i expect of you, just how i should treat you you should treat me, have a conversation ge to know who you dealing with, physical appearances means nothing... everyone's searching including Me including You...

9/30/2010 01:23:00 am

Carra I really enjoyed reading this! Very real, and I think alot of people can relate to it!

Good Man
9/30/2010 05:16:04 am

Very interesting post. But there are a lot of brothers out there who treat women with respect and positivity only to be walked all over by these women who are always "looking for a good man" Always looking and not realizing what they had. Its almost as if some women are not satisfied unless there is screaming, throwing shit and police involved in a relationship, they seem to strive to join the ranks of "baby mama" and never the wife. They have better but "something must be wrong, my girlfriends all have drama", they dont cherish it.

Fellas, a word of advice: keep them guessing, never let them have a moment of contentment, because the minute they are comfortable they will go looking for drama. Women need drama to be satisfied. So have a few shorties on the side, disappear every now and again but fuck giving a woman 100% because they can't ever deal with it

Not saying to beat her up and throw her down, just keep her mind active

Dolce Vita
9/30/2010 05:28:34 am

I am left completely speechless by the above comment!
Any one that takes that stupid advice is a fool!

Reply To Good Man
9/30/2010 05:28:39 am

funny how u call yourself a good man when u want to create drama u THINK she wants. an never have a moment of contentment? so ure hell bent on not only givin her "drama" but ensuring that she is never happy? gtfoh son!
i dont know what kind of women uve been involved with but they were clearly some "other" kind of women. u really oughta to look other places for a mate.
and i dont even need to say how i feel about keep a few shorties on the side. w.t.f. please. grow up! uve obviously been dealing with little girls and NOT WOMEN.

9/30/2010 05:35:13 am

I am certain that mister "GOOD MAN" has NEVER had himself a WOMAN, sounds like you have had one too many GIRLS. Darling WOMEN don't like drama, GIRLS like drama. Keeping a woman in suspense, having a FEW EXTRA extra shorties on the side & disappearing every now & then ain't acts of a GOOD MAN as you so ignorantly call yourself, it's acts of a BOY. The same boy that probably had to do this to the GIRLS that he was involved with because both of you were too immature to know how to handle a relationship. So to the MEN, treat your WOMEN with respect, be loyal to her, never cheat on her. All relationships have there mishaps every once & awhile but as MEN & WOMEN they should never break you down into acting like a BOY OR GIRL. Mental, Physically & emotional ABUSE are never a must in a relationship. You teach lessons to girls & boysNOT women & men !

9/30/2010 06:02:19 am

What... That "Good Man" guy is such a contradiction

Good Man
9/30/2010 06:02:29 am

I love to see the denial on this blog.

Hands up if you have ever had a good man, only to mess it up by doing some ish.

And then ONLY then when the "greener grass" on the other side does some real crap and you end up hurt and crying do you then realize what you left behind.

The brother who gives 100% and is Mr. Perfect will ALWAYS ALWAYS get the crappy end of the stick.

The point I am making is that you get what you look for. You know his ass was bad before you got with him, You know he got baby mama drama, you know he been using women as a punching bag from long ago - so why are you surprised when its your turn?

Josh M
9/30/2010 07:02:04 am

Great piece Cara! Personally, I've never understood how anyone justifies abusing or staying with an abusive lover. Hopefully people like this get the help they need.

About this "good man" though.... I'm really hoping this is someone in their teens. Juvinile grammar aside, your logic is childish at best. Even if it's what you foolishly presume women want, going out of your way to make your partner unhappy in order to create "drama" will only result in one thing - an unhappy relationship. As you said, "you get what you're looking for" and based on what you've said, you're only looking for and getting miserable relationships.

Kani Jo
11/28/2010 03:55:38 am

This was an awesome piece and sooooooooooooooooooo much young women could relate and i absolutely loved the way u ended

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