I've learned so much in my short 24 years on planet Earth. One of the things I've learned is: anything worth having is worth waiting for. Patience has NEVER been my strong suit. I'm a quick, get it done or I'm out kinda chick. That was my approach to life and love. That didn't work out very well for me, though. Especially with regard to the latter. I honestly used to believe in love at first sight and I would be devastated at the thought of the object of my affection not feeling the same way. I mean seriously, you're cute, I'm cute, what the hell else do you need? We can figure shit out as we go along. Right? HA! Any of you reading this, who has an ounce of sense would probably call me an ass. And I wouldn't be mad. But I grew up. 

Now, I believe in spending time getting to know someone (OUTSIDE of the bedroom). Dating is essential and patience is a MUST. I've learned to keep my emotions in check and use more of my head and less of my heart. I can't say I've spared myself ANY heartache, but I've definitely saved myself a lot. I'm learning to sort through my emotions and separate admiration from lust from love. And would you believe I have not been "in love" for the YEAR?! And anybody that really knows me, knows that this is nothing short of a miracle. I am one big frigging cornball and I believe so strongly in love, you'd swear I'd never had my heart shattered. 

But I saw something today and it annoyed me. GREATLY. I have a friend (using that word VERY loosely) who is a chronic dater/fall in lover. I mean give her 2 weeks with a 'cute' guy and she's in love. BBM pics change, FB profile pics change, sappy, happy, lovey tweets. I mean, really? I can see if you were a kid, but come on doll. You're 28. I'm going to need you to wake the HELL up. Not everyone you date will be the one. Some people come into your life for a season but they ALL come to teach you a lesson. People can pretend for a long time and some people pretend their entire lives, so how do you KNOW and LOVE someone after a few weeks? It just doesn't happen.

I was driving home the other day and I was thinking to myself, "Macarra why the hell are you really single? You have enough decent guys interested. You're quite the looker. (Thas me bein' vain). You're intelligent and funny. Why aren't you someone's wife?!" And one sentence came to mind: "Because you know what you want". And I swear to you I HEARD the lightbulb go off. I'm single because I KNOW WHAT I WANT. I'm selective because I KNOW WHAT I WANT. It's hard to find a man because I KNOW WHAT I WANT. It all makes sense now. I now know I won't settle for a cheap man, a cheating man, a lying man, an abusive man ... and it's HARD! NOW I see why brides and grooms cry on their wedding day. Do you know how HARD it is to find a decent man/woman to MARRY?! LAWD! #Cheapus I don't wear eyeliner or mascara on my wedding day cuz I'm gonna be a snotty MESS. Real love is not easy. And I think THAT'S what they mean when they say love is hard. It's not hard to be IN love, that's the easy part. The hard part is FINDING it. 

Just some random ramblings. Peace. 
8/12/2011 01:12:46 am

I love it, I always enjoy reading your blogs.


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