Aight. It's been like over a month since I posted something and it wasn't because I didn't have any new material, it was more of a "What do I post that's most relevant/pressing?"

I wanna talk about women losing in love. And I seemingly have to keep reiterating "I AM NO RELATIONSHIP EXPERT". If I were, I'd be happily married, with my 2 kids, Yorkshire terrier poodle shitzu, in my 2 story home in some fancy residential area. But alas, I am a 24 year old single woman with no kids. And NO, I am not a lesbian. But while I am no relationship expert, I do analyze. A lot. And thanks to my ever interesting TL  (for the Twitter savvy crew) I get LOTS of material. This is gonna be a 5 part series to be posted weekly. And today, I wanna talk about the MAIN reason we keep losing: Insecurity. 

Yes, yes. It's that ugly word again. Everyone has 'em. But everyone handles theirs differently. Women, however, seem to bare them on their damn foreheads. Yes, you wish you could get a nose job and yes you wish you had bigger boobs but NO this will not make every man fall head over heels in love with you. You wanna know what men fall in love with? A strong personality. A challenge. A woman. 

Don't believe me? Watch the flex. I dated 3 guys back to back. At first, I was stern, bitchy (for lack of a better term) and aloof. And what do you think happened? The guys pursued me even harder. When I finally let my guard down and let them insecurities come out to play .. whooo chall! I was straight LOSING. And do you know what each of them said? I kid you not: "I didn't think you'd care if I left or not. I expected you to say 'You wanna leave? Well you lose.'" And I mean they sounded DISAPPOINTED. Well comin' home! You mean after all that chasing you still want me to be a bitch?! I obviously missed the memo. But I got it. Men will ALWAYS love a challenge. 

Think about it. Which toy do you appreciate more? The one you didn't ask for or the one you saved up a year's worth of lunch money for? Yeah, I thought so. Man when you get that toy you are so PROUD! Drop? Break? What's that? That thing may not even come out of the box! And that my friends, is how men view a woman. Well, his at least. A prized possession. But after it's lost it allure, what's the point? Time for a new toy, no?

Now nobody is saying you have to be a mean and callous prude all the time but be  CONFIDENT. If another woman comes into the room YOU DO NOT SEE HER. Who is she? Halle WHO? Nahh, son. YOU are in that room and as far as you're concerned, HE is lucky to be with you. Trust me, this turns men ALL the way on. 

Exes? YOU HAVE THEM EH?! Chall boo I couldn't care less about the woman before me. You could have dated Beyonce, as far as I'm concerned I upgraded ya. When you give off this attitude and MEAN it, watch the man fall in love. Slowly but surely. 

Another thing y'all gata stop doing is DICTATING. Another form of insecurity. Don't TELL the man which women he can and cannot talk to. Are you threatened? For WHAT? Over HER? What does she have that you want? You already have a great relationship and a great man ... chill. Besides, if ONE woman doesn't want your man, you lose. :( He looks at another woman? So what? If he leaves you, who's losing? Really. 

These are just my humble opinions but I'm sure you can see where we've been going wrong. You are really your own worst enemy. Confidence is the order of the day! 

Next Week: Part 2 - Get Your OWN Life! 
3/14/2012 10:24:04 pm

Excellent Read! Thanks!

3/14/2012 10:32:01 pm

Thanks for reading! :)

3/14/2012 11:38:16 pm

Great Read as usual!!!

3/15/2012 01:06:55 am


3/15/2012 01:16:25 am

Right on point and girl i feel as though you were the fly on the wall when you mentioned dictating,because i told him to delete her from his facebook and to never talk to her again. But you are so right I should not feel threatened. You were my inspiration today.

3/15/2012 02:43:36 am

:) you're welcome girl!

3/18/2012 02:22:17 am

This was excellent Macarra, I've exprienced the same thing when I let my guard down I was losing... Not no more chal!! Can't wait for week 2

3/22/2012 04:06:21 pm

Seriously. Great advise.

5/13/2012 11:37:00 pm

This is great. And as a first time reader of the blog, you left me wanting more....

5/14/2012 12:28:38 am

5/13/2012 11:41:03 pm

Love this one got me thinking

5/13/2012 11:53:35 pm

Well-written as usual. I gatta point out that an opposite (not the opposite) of insecurity is confidence. A confident woman is often viewed as too much too handle so it will take a special kind of man to pursue her and luckily that's just the kind of man all women deserve. The only fault I see in your analysis is that one cannot continue to project security in self if it isn't real. At some point the fake will be exposed.

5/14/2012 12:07:15 am

Hi Ali!
I'd like to thank you for reading. :)

I see your point but to raise it, everyone has insecurities. Not to say that everyone wears their emotions on their sleeves but we all have them. How we disguise them is another story. I don't want us to pretend to be something we aren't, but learning to keep your insecurities under control is something we ALL need to learn. Men and women alike. I don't think there is ONE person in the world that is 100% confident but do they pretend to not be? Doubt it. Are they being fake? I doubt that as well. I'd just like to see my fellow sisters portraying and BELIEVING that they are confident, beautiful and strong. Because they are. :)

5/16/2012 09:48:24 am

Timely and a great read as usual. Gives me alot to think about. Good job love.


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