To you my dear, I have ONE thing to say: You. Are. Delusional.
I don’t care how many tricks you pull out for this man, if he doesn’t want you. HE DOES NOT WANT YOU!! You can cook and clean and iron all his friggin’ SHEETS. If his HEART is not with you, he is NOT going to stay. And please believe me when I say I’m not judging you. I’ve been there. So in love with this man. Willing to do whatever he asked. Cuz I just KNEW this was true love. I loved him. He loved me. What the hell could EVER go wrong?!
Then one day. BAM! Negro just up and left. He swears up and down that you did nothing wrong but you can’t help but wonder:
Maybe I didn’t call enough.
Maybe if I had made myself more available.
Maybe I didn’t put him first enough.
You try and try and just can’t come up with anything! And there’s this NAGGING voice that you KNOW is the TRUTH but you try so hard to deny it. It’s that voice saying, “Maybe he just doesn’t love you.” But this CAN’T be true. How could he NOT love a woman that was always available to him and always does what he asks? Isn’t that what he wanted? Well I’m sorry I can’t answer that but I can tell you one thing and I can’t say it enough – If he does not love … You can’t MAKE him!
I’ve seen too many women taken advantage of by men who know all they want is a roll in the hay. They will lead you on. Tell you everything you want to hear:
“Baby, there’s just something about you. You’re so different.”
“Baby, I’ve never felt this way about anybody.”
“Baby, you make me a better man.”
They will wine and dine you. They will introduce to their friends as “wifey.” They will spend the night … Matter of fact, they will spend MANY nights. They will cuddle after sex and call and text all day. Yeah, you fall for it huh? But does this mean that he loves you or is he just a master seducer?
Women have a radar. We can spot a fake from a mile away. But there’s this part of our brain that we seem to smother with our heart and choose to believe that he is being genuine. We say this so much ‘til we actually believe it and when the truth (as we suspected) is revealed, we find it hard to believe. And are left devastated and heartbroken.
But I don’t wanna just blame this on the men. Some women do this to THEMSELVES. They’ll be with one of the rare straight up men who says to them, “Listen, I like you but I’m talking to other people.” And because you’re “superwoman” you choose to stay. Know why? Cuz you gat the “must come back.” MUDAFLICK I can’t tell you how much this IRKS me. Your sex will NOT make him stay (but that’s a whole other Blog).
But other than that, you do everything in your power to “make him stay.” You wash his dirty drawers. You iron his clothes for work. You cook him breakfast, pack him lunch and make him dinner. You give him sex when he asks and you’re always available to him. So you GATA win right? This other women CAN’T be doing what you doin’. And chances are – she isn’t. But she has something you just can’t seem to get a grasp on … His HEART.
She leaves a little something to be known. She’s mysterious. She’s intriguing. She’s hot and she’s cold and he just can’t figure her out! She’s doing her own thing, living her own life and making sure she is happy. And he wants to know why! Which is why he chases after her … And not you. Trust me, he appreciates you. And so does she. She doesn’t have to do all the legwork – you’re doing it for her. She’s playing her cards right. And you’re stuck with the losing hand. And don’t you DARE try to change now. He’s gonna leave you. You were his maid. And now that you can no longer perform, he must leave.
Sucks huh? I know. We’ve all been there but you gata get up … And move on. And know better for next time. Let him love you first. Don’t put yourself ALL the way out there. That’s a sure way to get your feelings hurt. So take your time and don’t force love. Let it kind of force itself on you.
I don’t know about you … But I don’t wanna FALL in love … I want to GROW in it. Just seems more stable and secure to me.
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La Chienne La Plus Douce